Faking it: College graduation edition
By: Michaela Prell
Project Manager and Archivist
This month’s story slam theme is “Faking it.” It’s one we’ve done before, and it’s a great theme to bring back because it feels like everyone has a story about a time they had to fake it–whatever “it” is. I graduated from Sarah Lawrence College in May 2020 during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, which means my whole adult life has felt fake.
I was sent home in March of my senior year for spring break and never returned.
I went to school in West Chester, NY, close to New Rochelle where the National Guard established a containment area in an attempt to stop the spread–just a few days before our spring break started. This all felt scary and dramatic, but at the same time, this was days before the government issued any lockdowns. We didn’t have a clear sense of how dangerous COVID was. Plus we were getting mixed messages back in those early days. It felt like an overreaction.
“I’ll see you in a few weeks!” I told my friends as we left for spring break, hoping that if I said it often enough it would be true.
Instead, I finished the last 6 weeks of my college career in my childhood bedroom, attending most of my classes on the “big kid bed” I got for my 11th birthday. I graduated from college on my parents’ couch, my name scrolling on the screen alongside 300 classmates.
It all felt fake, and worse, it set me up to feel like everything was fake. I still dream that I’m moving back into the dorms to finish up my last 6 weeks of real college, have a physical graduation, and start my actual adult life.
Yet, here I am, almost four years out of college. I’ve grown into my life. I have an apartment, a job, a life partner, and a friend I go out with on weekends. My life looks like I imagined it would my senior year of college when I tried to picture it. And I’m happy.
But, then there are days where the ghost of how I thought it would all go feels like it’s watching me, just out of my periphery.
I can see the timeline in my head of how my life was gonna go without the pandemic, but here I am on another branch and as time goes on the lines move further apart and it becomes more impossible to rejoin this mistaken path to the original one.
I’m lucky that I’ve had lots of other people go through this experience with me. When it’s warm out, we get drinks and swap stories of how it all feels fake, throwing our heads back with laughter. In the endless months of January and February, we call each other from under our comforters in separate cities and cry about how fake it all feels. And when I talk to the people in my life who graduated college in all the years before or since 2020, they say “Yeah, me too. It all feels fake.”
For now, I’m grateful that this is a resounding, “Yup, that’s just how it is,” because I actually like this timeline and rather enjoy it, real or fake.
Got a Faking It story?
Tell your Faking It story at our next StorySlam on April 23rd at World Cafe Live! The fun starts at 8pm. Doors open at 6pm.
Tickets are just $15.
Don’t think you have a story to tell? No worries! Come on out anyway and listen to storytellers from across the Philly region share their best Faking It tales of imposter syndrome, fake love, and photo editing fails. You can always share your story at Che’s StoryBooth in the lobby or on our social channels @fistpersonarts.
Already got an idea brewing and want a guaranteed spot on stage? Awesome! We choose 4 lucky storytellers a week before the show for a guaranteed spot to compete. Send us your first line to stories@firstpersonarts.org.
Need inspiration?
Check out this Faking It story from our October 2010 winner George about his college friend and a mysterious note.
How a First Person Arts StorySlam works
First Person Arts StorySlams are like open mics for people who love stories. We provide a theme, and you provide a 100% true, personal story. You’ve got 5 minutes on stage to entertain the “most engaged audience in Philly.” No notes or props allowed.
Our host, Philly’s comic and award-winning goof, Betty J Smithsonian keeps things light and fun. Our judge, comic Lamarr Todd, a mystery guest judge, and an audience judge help score the stories and give our storytellers helpful hints to improve their tales. The winner takes home $100 and bragging rights until next month.
