by Jean Burke-Spraker, Director of Marketing 

Out of the darkness

It’s 3am on a sultry Sunday morning in West Philly. I sit in a parking lot scarfing down a turkey sandwich and a bright blue energy drink. Artificial light floods the usually pitch-black lot. Thousands of people from all over Philly and throughout the US are here for one reason: to participate in the AFSP Overnight Walk. We are walking 16 miles through Center City in the middle of the night to stop suicide and the stigma it carries. This parking lot in West Philly is our last rest stop for the Overnight before we move on to the finish line at the Philadelphia Museum of Art.

As I sit on the curb, I look at the wall. But it’s not just any wall. It’s a giant mural called Finding the Light Within. At its center is a blue and white life preserver, a symbol of hope that echoes the logo for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the walk organizers. A Black teen is throwing the life preserver to others in a boat, which is tossing on a sea of uncertainty. Along the edges, people stand on a shore, a safe harbor for those who struggle with suicidal ideation, like me. On the left side, three people hold a quilt. On each square is painted the face of a loved one lost to suicide. The faces are drawn from old photographs, snapshots of memories lived and lives now gone.

And yet hope remains on the shore as I focus on that young boy. His offer of help to those tossed on the sea doesn’t just represent hope. He is hope.

Walkers crowd around some squares, touching the wall and discussing their connections to the people depicted within them. After 15 minutes, I move on, eager to finish the walk and get to bed.

Into the light

That was June 2018.

A lot has changed in the last 6 years. I’m still in Philly and now working as Director of Marketing for First Person Arts.

One thing has not changed. I still love that boy on the shore. I pass the mural occasionally when we host our StorySlams at World Cafe Live. I was sad to learn a few months ago that I could not access the mural while a new building was under construction. Believe me, I tried.

It seems hope springs eternal, however. A few weeks ago, I learned from the mural artist James Burns that the young man is fictional, a representation of the Philadelphia high school students the mural is meant to inspire.

Join First Person Arts and Mural Arts on March 16th

James and I met virtually as part of a team meeting with Mural Arts to discuss the marketing collateral for Embracing the Light, a new, powerful collaborative storytelling performance between Mural Arts and First Person Arts. Two free performances will take place on March 16th at FringeArts.

And it has been the honor of my life to help market this project.

These two free performances at 2pm and 6pm will feature local storytellers with lived experiences with suicide, including those who have experienced suicidal ideation, made attempts, or lost loved ones.

The 17 stories come primarily from mindfulness workshops sponsored by DBHIDS and Landmark and include stories and songs curated exclusively for Saturday’s performance. When writing for mindfulness and healing, the objective is not usually to tell the story to a room full of strangers but to tell that story to ourselves. For the last month, I have attended rehearsals for the event.

In his first-person historical narrative about creating the original mural, James asks a question:

“What does a mural about suicide look like?”

These performances offer us a rare glimpse into how we tell the most difficult stories to ourselves. These stories are raw and unfiltered, beautiful and inspirational.

Some people involved in this project would not consider themselves storytellers or artists. But as our Director of Applied Storytelling and resident cognitive scientist Dr. Neil Bardhan often says, “Our stories make us human; we are ALL storytellers because we ARE human.”

Listening to James’ story at our final rehearsal this past week, I ask myself:

“What does a story about suicide look like?”

When it comes to stories about mental health, I imagine a story structure that mirrors the human brain. Scientists have documented how our neural pathways light up both when we tell stories and when we experience them. For me, these neural pathways and nodes interconnect like a multiverse of memories.

The Embracing the Light stories pull from across a multiverse of storytelling formats: from historical narratives about building communities through art to short stories about road trips, from poems about military service and war to personal essays about medical ethics, from creative nonfiction about access to behavioral health services to songs that offer hope for healing.

What to expect at the performance

We welcome everyone to attend this special event, whether or not you have been directly impacted by suicide. Our goal is to raise awareness and access to mental health resources in the greater Philadelphia region.

We have designed the performance to be a healing space, but we recognize that these stories may bring up raw feelings for audience members. Throughout each performance, we will have trained mental health experts available to offer assistance, and we will provide resources and information to anyone seeking support.

If you or a loved one are experiencing a suicidal crisis or emotional distress, call or text 988.

To learn more about Embracing the Light and our other storytelling arts programs, you can visit our website at firstpersonart.org.