Name: Justine Parks Cuny
Location: Narberth, PA
Slam won: Lost in Translation
Q: What was the last thing you won (StorySlam not included)?
A: Umm…I’m kind of a loser. The only thing that comes to mind was winning Upper Main Line YMCA’s “Most Consistent Gymnast” Award in 1996.
Q: FPA has been doing Slams in Philly for 7 years now. (Woot!) In honor of that, tell us a story in 7 words.
A: I once lost a jalapeno eating contest.
Q: What would your dream theme be for a StorySlam? What story would you tell?
A: “Dude, where’s my car?”
It’s a story about the time my sister’s Jeep Liberty was stolen in New Orleans. It had her purse, her bike and her new Macbook inside. She woke up in the middle of the night, realized it was missing and called the police. She woke my mom up in PA and begged her call the insurance company. She posted frantic minute-by-minute updates on Facebook, pleading for help, asking that anyone with information contact her immediately. The next day, her boyfriend found the “stolen” vehicle, parked a block ahead of where she thought she had left it, all of her belongings inside. My sister is a prideful girl; She would never admit she was too high to remember where she parked her car. So, to this day, still swears that thieves stole the Jeep, took it for a joyride and then re-parked it in a different spot, with all of her shit inside, just to mess with her.
Q: Who do you know that tells the worst (or best) stories?
A: My mom is our family’s storyteller. She tells both the best and the worst stories. My favorite is the one about the family of coyotes that were living in our yard. Every time she talked about them, the coyotes got closer and closer to the house. Eventually, she claimed she saw the mother coyote nursing the baby coyotes on her front porch. No one else ever saw coyotes so none of us believed a word of it. We all discredited her story. Then, one day, I was driving home from school and I saw a GIANT coyote crossing the driveway.
Q: Why are you a good storyteller? (aka why should your competitors be scared?)
A: Public speaking is a significant percentage of what I do for a living. I’m also totally bat-shit which means I’ve got more than my fair share of crazy stories. So…bring it.
See Justine compete at the Grand Slam on Friday, May 16 at Underground Arts for the title of “Best Storyteller in Philadelphia” and $250! DON’T WAIT! This event sells out every season.